10 Signs Your Partner Is An Intimacy Anorexic
10 Signs Your Partner Is An Intimacy Anorexic
Do you have a hard time connecting emotionally with your spouse? Do they withhold love and affection? Soul Refiner expert and....
Are you experiencing a lack of intimacy in your marriage?
Soul Refiner expert and presenter of the Warpath and Stronger Together series, Dr. Doug Weiss, coined the term, “Intimacy Anorexia,” to describe the silent marriage killer that affects millions of couples around the world.
Intimacy Anorexia is the sin of withholding intimacy from one’s partner - physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Dealing with a spouse who is intimacy anorexic feels like emotional abuse.
Ten Signs Your Partner Could Be An Intimacy Anorexic:
1. Withholds Love
According to Dr. Doug Weiss, to withhold love is to “not give love to your spouse the way you know how to, or how they have asked to be loved.” Each person has a different love language, whether it be words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, etc. (Read more in the 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman). Intimacy anorexics typically know how their spouse wants to be loved, yet refuse to meet their need, leaving their spouse feeling empty, lonely, and not worthy of love.
Related Article: Husbands, Here’s How To Love Your Wife Well
2. Suppresses Praise
Intimacy anorexics withhold from praising their spouse privately or publicly. In most cases, the anorexic will control their spouse by using feelings of inadequacy and being of little importance to their lives.
3. Sexless Marriage
One of the most obvious signs of intimacy anorexia is the withholding of sex. Weeks or months passing without any sexual encounter is a strong indicator of intimacy anorexia.
Related Article: Bringing Intimacy Back To The Bedroom
4. Spiritual Suppression
Often the intimacy anorexic is super religious but has zero or little spiritual sharing or connection with the spouse. They may even be pastors or have a position in church, but at home they offer little or no spiritual leadership, never praying alone with their spouse, or sharing their faith.
Related Article: The Impact of Sin On Future Generations
5. Always Too Busy Or Distracted
Your partner keeps themselves so busy they have little time for you, filling their time with chores, the children, projects, work, etc. They also use technology to avoid their spouse through endless hours on social media, news, gaming, etc.
6. Plays The Blame Game
Intimacy Anorexic partners don't take ownership of any problem.
Every issue in the marriage has zero to do with them and everything to do with their partner. They take no ownership of any problems.
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7. Inability To Connect Emotionally
The intimacy anorexic is someone that is unwilling or unable to share their feelings with their spouse. They are unable to connect in an emotionally intimate way, and the spouse feels more like a roommate than a loved partner.
Related Article: Returning Intimacy To Your Relationship
8. Constant Criticism
The anorexic constantly puts down or criticizes their spouse at every opportunity, whether over something large or small. They use criticism to keep their spouse at arm's length.
9. Anger And The Silent Treatment
They will use anger or even silence as a weapon to punish or push their spouse away. For example, they may not speak to their spouse for days or weeks over something insignificant, or they explode in anger over the smallest things to control and push their spouse away.
Related Article: The Silent Marriage Killer (VIDEO)
10. Money Manipulator
This is one of the lower signs of an intimacy anorexic, but when it is present it manifests itself with might. The anorexic, with this characteristic, uses money to control the spouse by keeping them in the dark when it comes to finances; like a parent giving their child an allowance, they won’t allow the spouse to have access to the bank account or make financial decisions.
This pattern of withholding has permeated the Church. It is so damaging that it is destroying marriages. Is it destroying yours? Despite this laundry list of negative characteristics, there is hope. There are sad factors that contribute to forming intimacy anorexia in a person. For instance, intimacy anorexia is a common issue among those who have struggled with sexual and pornography addiction or those who experienced abuse, abandonment, and chronic neglect in childhood.
Related Article: Is Pornography and Sex Addiction a Reality or Just an Excuse?
You don’t need to secretly suffer in a sexless and loveless marriage. Your life and marriage can be restored. Our Stronger Together series, exclusively on SoulRefiner.com, provides you with the knowledge and tools to reclaim your marriage. You’ll learn to:
- Discover areas of disconnect and apply powerful healing tools to those areas.
- Connect emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
- Master simple steps to build trust and honest communication.
- Develop the keys to lifelong sexual healing and intimacy.
- Create your blueprint for authentic marriage.
Go to SoulRefiner.com to start your healing today!
Karissa Suzanne
Sharing practical insights, biblical encouragement, and stories of transformation to help individuals and families pursue healing, hope, and lasting freedom.
More articles by Karissa Suzanne →
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